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Saturday, August 23, 2008

Possible solution to Nigeria's problem

It is quite possible that the solution to Nigeria's problem lies in her break up! Oooops! Some people are gonna call me all sort of names now! It does not matter, but let's look at this issue objectively.

What has Nigeria achieved by remaining as one? Well let us enumerate our achievements:

1. Corruption. Well there is corruption everywhere, but Nigeria has achieved so much in this field that we have been named as one of the MOST corrupt nations on earth. A great achievement certainly, since this has made Nigeria and her citizens well known all over the world. With this achievement, even Nigerian leaders are subjected to all sorts of humiliation these days at major airports, just in case they are carrying loads of money to launder abroad.

2. Crime. Well, of course, where there is so much corruption (which is in itself a crime), it only follows that there would be so much crime on the land. This can be regarded as one of Nigeria's monumental achievement, since nobody is safe from criminals anymore. Even government officials are being targeted these days. Just the other day, there were reports that dare-devil armed robbers broke their way into the residence of the Honourable Governor of Delta State. Wicked! There were also reports, which I have been unable to confirm, that the President's mother or mother-in-law was robbed or attacked, I don't know if that is true, but it is an indication of the future lawless which faces Nigeria and her citizens. There is no security in the land anymore. The boys in the Niger-Delta are not even helping matters. I mean, they were supposed to be fighting for the liberation of the land, but the 'liberation struggle' has been turned into a travesty. Now all we hear about are kidnappings and the payment of ransoms. How ridiculous, how stupid! These criminals aim to take over the land and drive away the government. May God help us then.

3. Black-outs. As an achievement, this is certainly worth mentioning. Those who can afford it, spend at least 2,000 naira everyday on diesel or petrol for their generators. We are so good together as a nation, that we are content or rather our leaders are content to leave the nation in constant darkness. I just can't understand this but it is something to be proud of, a great achievement. With this our children can continue to study with kerosene lanterns or candles. Even if they come out of it with bad sight, who cares?

4. Decline in Education. This is one which I like a lot. Education is so bad in Nigeria that employers quake to employ graduates. A spokesperson for MAN once said that the graduates produced these days do not even know what they are talking about. I believe him. As a result of the decline, our graduates who go to the western nations are made to go through a re-education as Nigerian certificates are not much recognised anywhere. This is a great achievement of our togetherness and it is very commendable. A UN report recently stated that at least 10 million Nigerian children are not going to school. THey have started on the part of idleness. I wish they would remain like that, but that is wishful thinking o! These 10 million represent a potential 10 million armed robbers, 419 and the likes. I wonder what will be happening in 5 to 10 years because of these 10 million. Anyway, let's move on. There is still much to yap about.

5. Brain drain. Well, everybody knows this one. As a direct consequence of the decline in education, everybody who can afford it, sends their kids abroad to get a better education. I hear they even send their children to Ghana. Hahaha! Ghana! Na wa o! Jokes apart, this is pretty cool. Our children get to get a good education abroad and then remain there and contribute valiantly to the foreign economies while our own economy suffers back home. This is good because, the few people in government can then afford to continue on the 'rankandede' or 'bros' tip. You know, 'bros, find me small thing now, things hard o!', and the 'bros' will 'demo' a little and then give the supplicant a 'little something' to hold him and his family till the next time.

I could go on and on and on. There is so much we have achieved in the 40 years or so of our independence, and you know what? It has all been CRAP. Yes, CRAP. That is what our so-called leaders have dished out to us for over 40 years and it seems we like it. We have perfected the 'e go better' attitude. Take whatever life throws your way, look up and say ' God go do am' and then continue to take more nonsense, more insults, more suffering and smiling.

Our children can't go to school anymore. Schooling is the prerogative of the rich. So if you cannot afford the enormous school fees of the private universities, then tough!

I just don't understand the Nigerian psyche. We possess everything in our power to force these imbeciles, these people who call themselves rulers, to make things better, yet we just fold our hands and wait for manna to fall from heaven. Well, let me tell you, manna is already there, but if we are so stupid as to not realise that, then we will continue on this path. This path of self-destruction. Nigeria might end up imploding, not from war but from suffering, from hunger, from dejection, from poverty.

It is time for us to get off our collective backsides and decide on how tomorrow will be for us. It is time we decided that tomorrow will be better for our children, that there will be enough food to eat. It is time to think! We can either remain together as one nation and continue suffering or we split up into something that will work out well for everybody. We do not necessarily need to fight to achieve this. A breakup can be amicable as evidenced by the peacefull breakup of Czechoslovakia. We can do this or continue as we are. Suffering and smiling. Abeg, I don tire for today!
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